Make distance disappear

You can’t be there 24/7.

But what if?

Things happen.

And can happen at any time, day or night.

You worry, but you can’t be with those you care for 24/7.

And they want to stay independent.

They want to live their own lives without constant intrusions.

You have a busy life and can’t drop everything to travel to help, no matter the distance between you.

Your family, work and your life count too.

But here’s the good news: lots of times, you don't need to drop everything and go to help in person.

Almost everything can be sorted remotely.

Think about it.

Think of a bunch of things that you may need to help with.

How many of those things really need you to be there in person?

And if they do, how many need to be sorted right away?

Emergencies can happen.

And when they do we need to help as quickly as we can.

But for most everyday things, being there remotely is just fine.

With the right tools, you can be there for those you care for, no matter the distance.

And once you start using those tools, you’ll both likely feel reassured and more ready to calmly tackle anything that comes your way.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

So what bumps in the road might come your way?

Most common mishaps come from failing memory or confusion.

This is where routine and patterns can really help.

We all forget to do a job around the house, where we put something or the way somewhere once in a while.

So having a routine with notes added, perhaps on a shared to-do list, can be very handy.

Getting confused about how things work, like setting your washing machine, may also happen occasionally.

A quick video call or sending a YouTube link to explain can sort things like this out easily.

Confidence plays a big role in staying independent.

So feeling reassured that those who care for us are there for us really counts.

This simple feeling of reassurance can help us confidently continue doing things ourselves, rather than asking for help.

A little help with admin, arranging things like a taxi or plumber, and being with them when going to appointments or even just when they answer the door goes a long way.

And finding, organising and doing things together remotely is likely easier than you think.

Getting started is key.

It may feel like a struggle at first.

Having to learn, use and jump between a bunch of apps, each with its own password and way of doing things can get confusing and annoying.

But, once you find the right tools and get used to using them, things will likely get easier and easier.

And with easy ways to pick up and help each other in different ways, like video calls, to-do lists and so forth, reassurance will follow.

Also, once you’re sorting things out remotely, your time together in person becomes less ‘admin time’ and more ‘quality time’.

Remember, we’re all individuals.

How we tackle things like this is different from person to person.

Some who need a little help feel too proud to ask for it or to accept it.

Others may ask for or, expect or even demand it.

It can be a sensitive subject.

Frustrations with using new apps can amplify these feelings.

So approaching with empathy and sensitivity is very important.

Seeing it from their point of view and through both of your hopes that they can stay independent can help a lot.

At the end of the day, you know each other best.

So trust your gut.

You got this!

Start small starting now.

Hearing someone’s voice or seeing them in a video tells you so much more about where they’re at and how they’re doing than a text.

But a text doesn’t need you to stop everything to be there or to respond right now.

Try starting small by sending a voice message or video clip with a message that doesn’t need a reply right away or at all.

It’s often easier and less effort than writing a text too.

Particularly for those who find tiny phone keyboards difficult.

A simple back and forth starting with ‘Morning, hope you have a good day!’ goes a long way to brighten up your morning.

And can be a quick and gentle way to get used to using these tools.

Being there from anywhere.

Since the pandemic, the world has become familiar with doing things remotely.

There are now many more services that have become remote-friendly.

We’re now more familiar with doing things like seeing our doctor or talking to our bank using apps on our phones and tablets.

So why not when supporting our loved ones?

It needn’t just be video calls.

Shared to-do lists, voice and video messaging and shared tools for finding and organising things together all play their part.

And the best bit is we can do things together or solo, at the same time or separately, whenever we like.

It’s worrying to think of something happening to someone you care for.

Worrying for you and for them.

It’s natural to want to be there for them 24/7.

But neither of you wants that.

But if you start small, find the right tools and get familiar with using them you’ll all start to feel reassured and confident again.

And when you feel confident, you feel ready to calmly tackle anything that comes your way.

Maybe you’ll also start doing things you do in person remotely.

Bake together, go for a walk together at lunchtime...

and by sorting things remotely your in-person time can be devoted to quality time.