Carol and her daughter: Know you’ve got it covered

7 May

Written By Tom Palmer

You’re worried

We all need a hand, forget things or get mixed up sometimes.

But this is different.

Someone you care for suddenly needs your support.

And you’re both worried about more mishaps, their safety and what the future looks like.

It’s difficult.

You can’t turn your life upside down to be with them 24/7.

And anyway, they’re otherwise very independent and want to stay that way.

You both want that.

But you both need to feel reassured right now.

Don’t worry.

You’re not alone.

There’s plenty you can start right now to help you both feel confident and reassured.

Let’s talk about Carol and her daughter

Carol has always been very independent.

This has never changed.

But while visiting her daughter in a town she knows well, something happened.

She loves the town park and went walking whilst her daughter ran errands.

But Carol suddenly felt she couldn’t find her way out of the park.

There were plenty of exits, but she just couldn’t work it out.

She asked for help and thankfully someone could use her phone to call her daughter.

All’s well that ends well.

But life changed in that moment for Carol and her daughter.

What now?

Naturally, when something happens you and your loved one are worried.

It can feel overwhelming.

Your once independent and vibrant loved one will need you more and more from now on.

You may feel like they’ll need 24/7 support and your life will get turned upside down.

But here’s the thing; these bumps in the road are only one small part of your loved one’s otherwise independent life.

The thought of another lapse, them hurting themselves or being taken advantage of is dreadful.

But take a breath.

With the right tools and approach, you can both stay independent.

Be there from anywhere

You can’t be there 24/7.

You’re busy.

Family, work, friends and everything else demand your time.

And you both want your loved one to stay independent.

But things happen.

And you both need to feel reassured.

The good news is that most things can be sorted remotely.

And likely don’t need you to drop everything to help there and then.

In our ever more remote-friendly world, there are plenty of handy tools.

Try setting up video calling, shared to-do lists, and reminders on their phone.

With the right tools, you can be there from anywhere.

Help them help themselves

Your loved one needs support.

You naturally want to help as much as you can.

Help them do things and do things for them.

But keeping them independent is crucial.

For their well-being and for yours.

And doing too much for them can be counterproductive.

Studies show that staying independent can prolong independence.

Our well-meaning support can actually cause our loved ones to feel less independent.

And less motivated.

So once you’re comfortable, a shift from doing for them to helping them help themselves is healthy.

Helping them help themselves is helping them get back to their old selves.

Feeling supported is confidence boosted

Feeling supported can be a superpower.

It can lend us the power to push through hits to our confidence.

And help stop a small blip from turning into a big downturn.

The key is finding the right balance.

Giving your loved one practical support can actually boost their independence.

This may start with remote support with video calls and shared to-do lists.

But the real power comes from the feeling that you’re there if needed.

With big upsides to your loved one’s mental and physical health.

The superpower of feeling supported is yours to give.

Start small and start now

Losing confidence can mean losing the essence of a loved one.

When someone close to you starts to doubt themselves, it can have a rippling effect, leading to withdrawal, loneliness, and declining mental and physical well-being.

But there are ways to help reverse this downward cycle.

Gentle nudges.

Like being there on a video call when they meet people.

Or helping them get organised with shared to-do lists and reminders.

Being the bridge over the bumps in the road that stop them from doing what they love.

And in a way that fits both of your lives.

Taking care

Everyone has their own way of accepting support.

And it may feel like reversed roles if your loved one is more used to looking after others.

It’s true: some people may find it hard to accept support while others may expect it.

It’s understandable.

They likely feel it's out of character to need help after being independent for so long.

So if you’re unsure how to handle it, put yourself in their shoes.

Focus on their strengths, let them drive the conversation, and be patient as they adjust.

With a delicate touch, you can help them through this transition.

You’re not alone

You’re worried and maybe a little unsure where to turn.

Don’t worry.

You’re not alone.

Millions are going through the same thing.

You likely have friends and colleagues in the same boat.

It’s good to talk.

Talking with folks going through similar experiences can be incredibly valuable.

And bring great insights and get fresh ideas.

There’s no one-size-fits-all and everyone is on their own path.

But more often than not, you can find their wisdom useful.

And what we learn along the way is incredibly valuable to others.

There’s a ready-made support network out there.

So go discover it.

Give your loved one care from anywhere

When everything has changed, it’s worrying.

Someone you care for suddenly needs your support.

So, what now?

It can feel overwhelming.

You can’t be there 24/7.

But with the right tools, you can be there from anywhere.

Remember, helping them help themselves is helping them get back to their old selves.

And feeling supported is confidence boosted.