Feeling supported = Confidence boosted
You don’t have to be there to be there.
Sometimes just knowing you’re within easy reach is enough.
When someone you care for first experiences a lapse in memory or confusion, it’s tempting to go all out to support them.
This may be exactly what’s needed.
To begin with.
But your busy life and their need to lead their own life play against this over time.
And you don't have to choose between keeping your loved one safe and respecting their freedom.
There are many ways to strike the right balance and find the perfect fit for both of you.
When Suzanne first had episodes of confusion, it hit her confidence pretty hard.
She went from bubbly and outgoing to anxious and weary.
She started putting things off.
Things like dealing with her finances.
Things soon built up.
Her son soon worked out what was going on and stepped in to help.
But of course, banks don’t let just anyone access their customer’s accounts.
It was tricky.
They were able to get things straight again by sitting together virtually with Suzanne screen-sharing.
This support boosted her confidence and she was soon back on track and taking care of things herself.
One small blip, one big downturn.
Lapses in memory or episodes of confusion can have an outsized effect.
Having lapses and not knowing when the next one may happen takes a massive hit on your confidence.
We can all relate.
Here’s the thing, that loss of confidence doesn’t stay with what happened.
It can spread across everything.
It can make us withdraw.
Leading to loneliness and declining mental well-being.
Then our physical health can suffer.
This can knock confidence further in a downward cycle.
The good news is that helping our loved ones feel supported can help reverse this cycle.
Physical, mental and brain health are connected.
Research shows that caring for your physical and mental health can support brain health.
And a big driver of looking after yourself physically is feeling good mentally.
When we feel good we look after ourselves.
Feeling supported is key to this.
Especially when coming to terms with lapses in memory or episodes of confusion.
It’s key to feeling positive about starting to live with confidence again.
And able to look after ourselves physically.
Leading to better-supported brain health.
Feeling supported is a superpower for struggling loved ones.
And that superpower is yours to give.
Give support that boosts independence.
Sure, the loved one you care for has had bumps in the road lately, but they’re still independent in spirit.
They’ve got this far in life.
And see themselves as proudly independent.
Feeling supported is great but nobody wants to be mothered.
It’s a fine line.
When our confidence takes a hit, a helping hand is welcome.
But we’d all prefer to stand on our own two feet.
Too much is likely counterproductive.
“I’m helping my loved one help themselves” is a good place to be.
That way you’re there if needed.
But crucially, you are there.
It’s a sensitive subject.
Talking to a loved one about giving them support is sensitive stuff.
What they’re going through can be a difficult and unsettling experience.
For them and for you too.
Many fears and frustrations can surface.
Approaching it by emphasising you want to support their independence works well.
After all, we all value our independence and quality of life.
And don’t want it undermined.
Also worth suggesting are practical ways that you can be there for them if needed.
Emphasis on the “if needed”.
Start small and go from there.
It’s an ongoing conversation to find ways they can feel supported.
Get practical.
And start small to strike the right balance.
There are many, many ways to support your loved one.
But to begin with, maybe choose things that are only there if you need them.
This can be a gentle way to get used to this new world.
Most problems can be solved remotely.
And you both want to keep your independent lives.
So tools that help you do things remotely are a good start.
Tools for video calls, voice messages, to-do lists and organising things are all handy
Before you know it, they feel like you always used them.
Staying independent is for both of you.
Helping a loved one feel supported doesn’t have to be a 24/7 commitment.
Although you might imagine it will be at the start.
It can’t be.
Your busy life and your loved ones’ independence say so.
And no one wants to feel like a burden.
This is where the power of reassurance in feeling supported shines.
The thing is, if you’re confident, you’re more self-sufficient.
And feeling supported boosts confidence.
The feeling of being supported.
That feeling can come from lots of places.
It begins with practical support.
But soon blossoms on its own.
Get set up for remote support.
Busy lives, independence and distance all mean doing things remotely makes sense.
These days we do much more remotely.
Lots of services can now work through apps and websites.
And supporting your loved one can be just the same.
Tools for video calls, voice messages, shared to-do lists, and reminders sent to our phones and tablets are all available.
Sure, jumping between apps and remembering all those passwords can be a pain.
But once you’ve found what works for you, you’re away.
Feeling supported is confidence boosted.
You don’t have to be there to be there.
Helping them feel supported can stop one small blip turning into one big downturn.
Feeling supported can be a superpower when physical, mental and brain health help each other.
Particularly when giving support that boosts independence.
But it’s a sensitive subject and remember - staying independent is for both of you.
It all becomes easier when you’re set up for remote support.
Most importantly, it begins with practical support but soon blossoms on its own.
So, give the superpower of feeling supported.
