You’re not alone

Social support.

A loved one has started having lapses in memory or moments of confusion or needing help.

It can feel overwhelming.

We all occasionally forget where we put the car keys or get the wrong end of the stick.

Especially with age.

But when your loved one suddenly needs support, you both need reassurance.

You worry about another mishap happening, their safety and what the future may hold.

Take a breath.

You’re not alone.

Millions are going through this.

As age plays a part, friends around your age may be among them.

And support amongst friends is incredibly valuable.

We spoke with old friends Kath, Suzanne and Sarah.

Naturally, when they meet family comes into the conversation.

But lately, they’ve started comparing notes on challenges supporting their loved ones.

Kath has siblings who help support her mother who gets confused and makes costly mistakes with her bank and bills a lot.

Suzanne’s sister lives much closer to their parents, and sometimes they clash over the best way to do things.

Sarah is on her own caring for dad, who’s far away and sees her support as interference.

It’s not just group therapy.

They each get fresh ideas and reassurance every time the meet.

They’ve done it so you don’t have to.

Everyone who’s giving support to a loved one has learnt along the way.

And everyone will be at different stages.

With different wisdom to share.

Sure, everyone and every situation is unique.

But here’s the thing; more often than not, their insight could apply to you.

Take Kath and Suzanne.

Kath helped Suzanne sort things out when her dad got locked out of his bank account.

And with handling difficult moments with her sister.

Your friends may be a trove of insights and ideas for you.

And you may be the same for them.

Talking it out and letting it out.

It’s good to talk.

That’s certainly true if you’re supporting a loved one who’s having difficulties.

You can learn a lot.

A lot of techniques, approaches and resources you haven’t discovered yet.

It’s also a two-way street.

Your experiences and wisdom are valuable to anyone in a similar position.

But more than that, it’s good to know you’re not alone.

Being a sounding board for each other can be immensely valuable.

So don’t be shy.

You probably have friends in the same boat.

So let it out!

It’s a sensitive subject.

Not everyone’s comfortable talking about this stuff.

It can be very private.

It can be painful.

Understandably so.

So we need to tread carefully when bringing this stuff up with friends.

But it’s still good to talk.

And letting off steam to friends is therapeutic for sure.

It can also help friends who are struggling in silence feel safe enough to open up.

Sometimes just knowing a friend is in the same boat is helpful.

So if you have a friend on the same path, it’s good to talk.

A gentle nudge might be all that’s needed.

I’m not you and you’re not me.

We all see things differently.

We have different values.

And ways of doing things.

And we’re not inside each other’s heads.

So talking through sensitive, emotional stuff can get tricky.

You’ll likely disagree with approaches.

And hear only part of the story.

So, what’s the best approach?

Well, you know your friends best.

But there are a bunch of things to keep in mind.

Remember you’re on their side.

And there to lend an ear.

Sharing your experiences can really help.

But most importantly, having friends to bounce off will make things a ton easier.

Where to start?

It can feel overwhelming.

It’s true, there is great stuff out there if you can find what suits you.

There’s so much to sift through.

And you’re at your own point on your journey.

Many great resources are aimed at people who are losing their independence.

That’s not your loved one.

So, where to begin?

It’s tricky as there’s no one-size-fits-all

But connecting with people at your stage is key.

You’ll likely find friends or colleagues on the same path.

The major organisations tend to have communities around them.

And you’ll likely have groups local to you.

Good luck and happy hunting!

We’re in this together.

Age-related vulnerabilities tend to hit from our 60s.

And they can hit early or late.

But it can mean that if you have a vulnerable loved one, others of similar age may do to.

Our friends are likely around our age.

And those in other circles we move in.

We arrive at this moment together.

So our chances of knowing people on the same path are good.

You’re likely dealing with similar stuff in your lives too.

You’ll have a lot in common.

So there’s a ready-made support network out there.

You just need to go discover it.

Helping me helping you.

Everyone is at a different stage of supporting those they care for.

Everyone’s experience will be unique.

This doesn’t mean you can’t help each other.

In fact, it makes you more useful to each other.

If I’m just working out how to support my loved one, a friend who’s been doing it for a while is gold.

And as we tackle different things at different times, I might have learned something they haven’t.

It feels good to help someone out.

And every challenge we tackle brings new understanding.

And that understanding could really help someone out.

You’re not alone.

Support amongst friends is incredibly valuable.

As some have likely done what you’re about to do.

It’s good to talk it out and let it out.

But it’s a sensitive subject.

We all see things differently.

So remember you’re on their side.

And that having friends to bounce off will make things a ton easier.

Figuring out where to start can feel overwhelming.

But connecting with people at your stage is key.

We’re in this together.

What we learn along the way is incredibly valuable to others.

There’s a ready-made support network out there.

So go discover it.